Courage

Uncategorized Sep 21, 2015

Why hadn’t I left the moment I found out my husband had been having an affair? Sending my daughter and me on vacation and claiming he had to stay home and work, while flying his girlfriend over from California and taking her to the Keys. That wasn’t enough to say buh-by? Nope, not at the time. Can you say coward? Scared? Ashamed? Fearful? And determined to save the marriage, wanting so much to believe it was just a fluke, it would never happen again. That wasn’t who I married. And yet it was who I married and I didn’t want to see it. Denial felt safer, and the shame was deep. I felt helpless, and I did want to make it work. I did not get married with the intention of getting divorced. And when I finally got the courage, when I Let my Soul Evolve, I didn’t have one duck in a row. Let me walk you through this tremendous leap of faith.
I had nothing. Not one penny to my name saved up, not one once of credit, (another story of me allowing myself to be a doormat)a brand new very rewarding job, yet at the time not a very prosperous one, no where to go, no exit strategy, nothing. Not even a couch to sit on. Oh…and I forgot to mention, I did not have the support of my family, whom I have always been very close to. My parents fought me tooth and nail to stay, so for a while I had to loosen the reins of our relationship. So I was dead broke, no family support, and determined to leave. As I chose to step into my power and practice what I preach, the universe supported me 100%. Listen up…
I had ran into a friend a few weeks prior who was going away for the summer and offered her home to me as a ‘respite’, not having any idea I was ready to run. She graciously allowed me to stay at her home for a month while I found a place to live. Amazingly when the month was over, another friend of mine was leaving for Chicago for three months and was looking for someone to sublet her space. She graciously prepared her apartment for me and my daughter (my daughter came with me wherever I went and my X and I shared time with her equally), and we moved in for the next three months. We had a two week lag-period before the sublet became available. We needed a place to stay, and the universe provided. A friend asked me to cat-sit for a week, and another friend invited me and my daughter to stay with her for the second week. Two days before I was transferring to my friend’s home as my cat sitting gig was over, my friend texted me from Barbados. She was having a wonderful time and planned on staying for a second week. Tears started to role down my face. Where were we to stay for the next week? Crazy thoughts ran through my head. One was I was too proud to ask anyone for help. I decided to have faith in the universe. let go of the problem for the moment, and be present. When I go the news that our second week retreat was no longer an option, my daughter and I were on our way to the Katy Perry concert. I was determined to focus on our time together, and not allow anything to get in the way of our evening together and this special occasion. I would find a place for us to stay, that I knew for sure.

I wiped my tears, put a smile on, and chose faith! While at the concert, I felt my phone buzz and curiously checked the message. Out of the blue, a friend texted me that her house-sitter fell through. She was going to London in two days and she too needed a cat sitter for the exact days we needed a place to stay crash. Tears of joy poured down my face, it was a miracle, and being fully supported by the universe.
We moved into my friend’s sublet ten days later, and that apartment became a love nest for us. We fell hard for this beautiful space on the intracoastal in Delray Beach. As our three month sublet came to a close, I was determined to stay. I inquired about apartments available, and as the building was a condominium, rentals were few and far between. There was ONE unit available, only one. And anyone in a normal circumstance with good credit and a long standing job would not give getting that available unit a second thought. My situation was different. I was only at my job for a few months, had very little in the bank, certainly not enough for first month, last month and security, and again, NO credit. Oh…and I had to be approved by the board, and although I was the founder of a lovely sounding website with all good intentions, I didn’t look good on paper.
During this waiting period a friend of mine called me up. She had a gift for me. I had no furniture with the exception of my daughter’s bedroom set, and the TV from her X-box. I wasn’t worried about it at all. I actually hadn’t given it much thought. I was just so happy to be free, that I was floating on a cloud, and happy to sit on the floor until funds allowed a new purchase!
Here’s how magnificent the universe is…not only did I get accepted to rent the apartment, but my friend with a gift had a large one. She had just finished re-modeling an apartment in Palm Beach which she had planned on moving in to. She called me to tell me that she had decided to sell the apartment and move back to New York. She had purchased brand new custom furniture that was sitting in storage, and she wanted to gift it to me. Thirteen thousand dollars worth of brand new stuff, and girlfriend has some amazing taste. She gifted me two sofas and two chairs from Crate and Barrel, custom oak wood frame and custom ivory linen fabric, and a king size heavenly bed…can you believe this? I was blown away, floored, didn’t know what to say or how to show my gratitude, I was in shock. I now had furniture for my new place which I got with no credit and had no clue how I would gather the funds for first, last and security, but I knew I would.
The universe said yes to me all along the way, and everything I needed showed up miraculously. I was gifted a dining room set, outdoor furniture and two dressers, and I didn’t ask for a thing. Everything I needed to fill my love nest showed up, and so did love. Now that’s an amazing story, and one for the next chapter.

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