Today I received and email from a friend, and tears rolled down my face as I read it. She is someone I only knew for a year, but it felt like a lifetime. I met her at a nail salon when I moved to Florida. She asked me where I ‘worked out’, and we became best buds from that moment on. (of course, I recognized the compliment–she could tell that I put a little effort into my physical body, and my ego was happy to be stroked.)
I found her absolutely charming, and fascinating too. She is a well respected woman in the fashion industry that left her very lucrative and exciting position which consisted of world travel, and the everyday buzz of the New York fashion industry to follow her dream of living on the beach, and nourish her soul. She has a bright light and exuberant way about her which is so engaging, and on top of her business brilliance, she is super funny and super goofy. The kind of friend that makes you laugh so hard, you wish you were wearing Depends. I remember we went to see the movie “Dolphin Tale” with my eight year old daughter (who absolutely adores my friend) and the giggles in the car on the way home were louder than any stereo. You see, I cried during the whole movie (tears of joy, of course) and my daughter and pal thought my sensitivity was hysterical. Of course it was, but my point is this girl knows how to connect with an eight year old on a level I can’t even do…and I am raising this kid! So you get the idea that this is the kind of friend you keep around. So here is the question, why don’t we? My friend was called back to the world of fashion, and offered a position she couldn’t refuse. She moved to the west coast. Not too terribly far, but not in the same town. No more “wanna meet for a smoothie” on a whim.
I remember when she told me she was moving. She had invited me out for a belated birthday dinner, and wanted to share some news. I remember the pit of my stomach dropping below my feet, and I couldn’t touch my dessert. (A sure sign of a tragic moment, as I LOVE dessert). Tears poured down both of our faces, as we knew things were going to be different. I remember thinking that I had only known her for a year, and we had not spent a heck of a lot of time together, but when we did it was real. And I was going to miss my real friend. And I do.
Through the months my friend has been traveling a lot her her new position, spending weeks at a time across the world. We haven’t been so diligent about keeping in touch, and I miss her very much.
Today when I received her email, I cried for many reasons. The top reason was that she was hurting, and she didn’t know how to reach out. Her new gig was overwhelming, and she was lonely and questioning her choices. The key is she was lonely, and felt so lonely that she couldn’t reach out. I have been there. Feeling so sad, that I cant bring myself to call a friend and say ‘I need help”. And as I write this, and know that the definition of a friend is someone you can reach out to, no matter what, no judgement only love, I think how silly that sounds. I have kept to myself when I felt as though I didn’t want to bother anyone, and didn’t want to become anyone’s burden. And that’s not what we are supposed to do as human beings. As people we need each other, we need our friends. SO why is that the easy thing to do is let someone we love walk away? Yes, there are cases of ‘if you love someone, set them free”, but this is not that case. When we are sad, we are meant to support one another, lift each other up, forget about grudges or who called who last, and say “I need you”. why don’t we do that when we are sad? Drop what we’re doing and say ‘Ill be over’, or in some cases hop in the car and let go of logic? we are a loving species and we thrive on helping and loving one another. It feels good to help someone, and it feels great to get help when we need it. Why is it that we feel so afraid today to admit we love each other? Why are we letting fear run our lives? Why can’t we let go of fear and choose love? Imagine if we decided to call the friend that we miss, and go out of our way to say “I love you, I appreciate you”. there is no reason for loneliness…we are all one, and if we live our lives knowing we are here to love, here to respect, here to forgive, and here to support, imagine all the happiness we could create…